Normally I write the year in review about the cottage. This year I thought I would do a year in review on a personal perspective.
This was the year I earned to say No.
A while back I had a conversation with a hairdresser I have known for many years. She was celebrating her 50th Wedding Anniversary and I asked her. 50 years is a long time. How did you make it work?
She laughed and gave me her words of wisdom. She said some years were good. Some years were bad. Some years I spoke up and some years, I let things go. And then came the year I learned to say No.
I asked her what happened when she learned to say No?
She said. Someday were hard and some days were better and some ended up with someone mad at her or not speaking to her.
As time passed those who were mad at her made up with her or stayed out of her life. But the ones who apologized and accepted her no, were the ones worth keeping.
This year I hit the No stage in my life.
Work was the first thing I learned to say no to. No, I do not want to work the shift or switch shifts. My status as the go-to girl dropped a bit, but I still say yes to the shifts I want to work and we are ok and back on track.
My next step was hitting the fair-weather friend department. You know those people who always stir the pot. They are the ones who you know don’t say a kind word about other people and you also know they don’t say a kind word about you when you are not around.
Well, I finally took 5 minutes of courage and spoke up. I might add that didn’t go over well and ended in saying goodbye to a few old friends. I would like to tell you that caused me sadness, but in actuality, it brought me relief. It was a game I no longer had to play.
This Christmas I did the hardest one to say No to, The family. That one didn’t go over well.
I know now what it is like to have a family feud at Christmas time. I will say that the family Christmas Dinner got canceled. Some things were said that will have a hard time being forgiven and at this time the presents are still under the tree.
Sounds like an awful Christmas, but really it’s not that awful. It is a beginning to something better or an end to somethings that were not right or fair.
When I got my 5 minutes of courage, I did it for all the right reasons. And I am hoping that the persons who are in disagreement will one day, get their 5 minutes of courage to start to make things right.
Saying no has always been hard for me. But because I didn’t, I was taken advantage of and walked over for many years. Sadly by the ones you care the most about.
Learning the 5 minutes of courage gave me the courage to speak up. It allowed me to say No.
It also sorted out the good guys from the bad guys and made work a more enjoyable place to be.
It shortened the friend list to the true one and it shocked the family.
The person it shocked the most was me.
Take the five minutes of courage and say no. It doesn’t go over well when you do it at first, but you will feel better in the end.
Together husband and I made our New Years Resolution.
It’s a very simple one… NO.