I have a secret to share. I’m an introvert hiding behind the facade of an extrovert. All that chatty, friendly, smiling person you see, is what you need to see, not me. It’s my job to be friendly, chatty and approachable. I’m a Nurse.
Now if you know me personally, I’m that way because I chose to be with you, but when I’m away from work and at home alone, I may not speak to anyone for days.
You would also be surprised to know, that if I’m home alone, my neighbors tell me if I didn’t have a car in the driveway, they would never know I’m there. There is no radio or TV on. I’m writing, working in the garden, doing some craft thing or on-line taking many of the course I take.
The interesting thing is, as I get older, I become even less interactive. And the more I enjoy my own company. Yes, that means being alone.
So this thought made me wonder, am I alone on this or is this part of the aging thing?
Being an educated person, if I have a question, I search for the answer. Guess what I learned. It’s not just me. It’s the as we get older thing.
I spoke to many people my age and older, and here’s what we came up with.
As you age relationships and their significant change. Yes, that is just how it sounds. You become more important to some people and less important to others.
Sounds kind of harsh but, life change, people change and needs change. If you don’t change with the other person needs, you may be left behind. That also sounds kind of cold.
So what changes I asked?
As we age, popularity becomes less import. Time gets needed for many things. Our tolerance for nonsense leaves quickly, and been down that road and don’t care to travel it again occurs. That’s the first sign of being a grown up. And so out the door goes that first group of people.
I personally said to someone not long ago that I was less forgiving as I age. I would like to now retract that statement. It’s not forgiveness that I lack, its lack of maturity that I have no patience for. At some point in a person life, they have to realize that they are a grown up and a mistake happens once, choices happen when you repeat the behavior multiple times.
The actions people dislike the most and like to blame on mistakes, so the survey says are: talking behind your friends back, broken promises, cancellations that could be avoided, which de-priorities you in someone’s life. Poor ways of addressing someone. I especially like the ones who think they can yell at you.
Then there is not returning phone calls or texts. Coming around only when you need something or if you have a problem. Those people who come around when they are single, but as soon have someone is in their lives, disappears and then they get single again, come back around again.
My ultimate favorite type of people are the one who changes their story every time you talk to them. You have no idea what to believe, but them is not what you believe. And the winner is the people who try to involve you in their craziness. You know those people.
I am also happy to say that, I learned from other people, that I am not alone on other things too.
As we get older, they don’t say it, but we have been keeping track. All these years with friends of long and short, your actions have decided your relevance in their lives.
The funny part of what I have learned is we also become to polite or not polite at all.
We are too polite to remove someone from Facebook. That would be considered childish behavior. But not to polite to tell you, that you are done with them and hang up the phone.
The interesting part of what I learned is that most people won’t talk to a person when something upset them, again to polite. Nor will they just cancel a plan and say I don’t want to go, but will instead make up an excuse that the other person knows is an excuse.
As we age, we no longer what to play the old High School Games. We play a new one, it’s called the action speak louder than words game. The only thing about that game is, you have been playing sence the day you first came into a person’s life.
If the person has not said anything, doesn’t mean they don’t know. They have chosen to forgive you for those things you did. Until they don’t anymore.
And that the best part of getting older and changing relationships, you know longer feel like you have to explain to anyone what you think or feel.
And that is how relationships and their significant change. It is how you become more important to some people and less important to others.
It’s harsh but life changes, people change and needs change. It is also kind of freeing to not have some people in your life. It leaves much more time for spending time with those who help you chases rainbows.
I think I’m looking forward to the late seventies when things change again and you lose polite, because you aren’t going to be around that much longer, so you don’t waste your time with words.
I haven’t decided if I want to be that cute little old lady who everyone loves or the one who is not so cute, but everyone knows not to mess with. Again that might depend on your actions… Hmmmm.
Thanks to the over 50 Group who took part in my little survey. I’m happy to know that I am not alone in my thoughts. Yes, this is the over 50 Group and how many of us see relationships.
It’s also good to know I am not antisocial, just an introvert hiding behind the facade of an extrovert.